People sometimes ask me how I manage to write this blog every day. Many of them think that, rather than aiding the flow of words, having set subject matter must be restrictive. In some ways they’re right – what if I’m not in the mood for writing about, say, caviar on its respective day? What if I don’t have access to stilts when the situation calls for it? And where the hell am I going to find someone with different coloured eyes?
Still, quite often the solution just falls into my lap, and today is a perfect example.
I was at BBC Radio Humberside, waiting to go on James Hoggarth’s show, when I remembered that I’d meant to bring him a bar of chocolate to celebrate Chocolate Day. I kicked myself for making the same mistake twice (last time I went on his show it was Straw Hat Month, and I’d failed to steal one from a scarecrow), but then it hit me: forgetting the chocolate aided the marking of today’s other two occasions, Tell The Truth Day and Forgiveness Day.
Once in the studio, I truthfully explained to James live on air that I’d intended to bring him a bar of chocolate, but forgotten. He immediately forgave me, nicely sealing the triple whammy success in a few short seconds.
So you see how natural it can be to celebrate these occasions? If I’d remembered the chocolate bar I’d have had to think of other ways to celebrate the remaining two topics, which could have been quite tricky.
Oh, and whilst on air I mentioned two other things: dinosaurs and eggcups. The reason for this was that someone texted beforehand to say that all good conversations should include such references. Later I was told that one of her friends had listened to the show and didn’t believe she was the unnamed “dino eggcup girl”. So this one’s for you, Lauren – next time I’ll identify you to the listeners, and maybe even take in a toy dinosaur in an eggcup for James.
Richard Sutherland is the author of 'The Unitary Authority of Ersatz', a quirky collection of short stories and humorous poetry. His favourite colour is Cornish Pasty and he loves the smell of confusion. Richard also writes Twitter fiction; tales within 140 characters. You should follow him, it's what all the cool kids are doing. @Banana_Penguin and @tinyweefiction.