As you’ve probably gathered from this blog, in which I celebrate every day of 2012 according to its mother website, I’m pretty good at doing what I’m told. Today is Nutella Day, so I made sure to smear lashings of the chocolate and hazelnut spread on all manner of foodstuffs (it’s been a proper fatty weekend, what with yesterday being Ice Cream For Breakfast Day – this project will be the death of me). But I must confess that I’ve had a few hours in the pub with friends, exactly how a Sunday afternoon should be spent, and I’m now feeling tipsy and sleepy, which never go hand in hand with writing a blog post.
To rectify the situation, I visited the Nutella website and downloaded an activity sheet, one of the ‘Easy’ ones as the ‘Challenging’ section was too much to handle. Again, being good at doing what I’m told, I coloured in the happy boy who proudly holds aloft his first of five slices of toast, the greedy little pig. I was doing really well until it got to the point where I had to shade-in the table, and you can probably see that my brushwork gets a little sloppy around the toast rack and the jar. It was also here that I lost patience and gave the lad demonic red eyes and ginger hair, despite the guidelines stipulating that he has a mane the exact tone of his favourite product.
And now it’s time for a final scoop of Nutella before bed. I’ve tried so many variations over the day, from spreading it over crumpets to using it for chicken stir fry, that I might just brush my teeth with it. Mmmm, heart-stoppingly delicious.
Richard Sutherland is the author of 'The Unitary Authority of Ersatz', a quirky collection of short stories and humorous poetry. People used to tell him that he looked like Clark Kent, but now he's had a haircut that makes him look more like Morrissey. He will do pretty much anything in return for a kilogram of Pick 'n' Mix and a ride on your sledge in wintertime. A lifelong dream of his is to one day spell 'ziggurat' in Scrabble on a triple word tile. His favourite paint colour is Cornish Pasty.
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