As its blurb states, Near Miss Day commemorates March 23rd 1989, when a large asteroid missed the Earth by a mere 500,000 miles (I could have died at the age of seven, wearing my Batman baseball cap).

The point of this occasion is to think about how you’d spend your remaining few hours on this mortal coil. What would you do? Let’s see…

You could bring your family together and tell them you love them, or simply all watch a DVD and wait for the end credits… so to speak. Maybe you’d find your boss and tell him to stick his job up his event horizon? I reckon a lot of people would raid their local off-licence and go wild in the streets as part of the world’s biggest, and last, Mardi Gras, complete with all manner of sin and degradation that you’d usually only find in Italy.

Me? I’d play Angry Birds Space constantly until the big ol’ rock transformed me into atomic soot. This new edition of the popular game is set in the heavens and plays around with gravity, subzero conditions and celestial bodies. I reckon this is quite appropriate, plus it makes me happier than Mickey Mouse presenting me with a bag of candy floss and a Segway.

However, knowing my luck my phone battery would die and I’d be forced to do something else, in which case I’d probably clip my toenails (simply because I’d be the last human being ever to do so).

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