Some occasions, such as Earmuffs Day, should be really easy to celebrate. However, those of you who have read this blog before will probably realise that it’s the easy subjects that are often the biggest challenge for me. There’s a reason for this anomaly, although how valid a reason is questionable.
See, when all that’s required of me is to buy something cheap and readily available from a nearby shop, I tell myself that I don’t have to set a reminder or tie a knot to my finger because I’ll definitely remember. But then, as I’m sure you will have guessed, I don’t remember until it’s far too late.
This very thing happened today. I arrived home from the gym after work, sat down at my computer, loaded the blog, and then stared into the middle distance as the situation presented itself like a big horrible monster wearing the world’s last pair of earmuffs atop its spikey, fang-filled head. There may have been curse words involved immediately following this, but I’ll leave that to your imagination.
Anyway, another thing you’ll probably realise if you read this blog is that I often like to look at these celebrations with my head on a slant, or with a Blue Peter frame of mind (by this I mean the original Blue Peter, when they made space rockets out of Fairy Liquid bottles and PVA glue, not the modern version where all they do is go quad biking in Dubai). So kindly feast your eyes on the glamorous model above who is demonstrating a pair of this season’s hottest accessory: homemade earmuffs.
Basically they’re made of two discs of tin foil and strips cut from a Yorkshire Tea box, all attached together with sticky tape. Do they keep my ears warm? Of course they don’t, they’re made of ultrathin metal and cardboard. Do they stop the government from reading my thoughts? Most certainly! Although I’m not sure how much good that will do, as I hear that David Cameron reads this blog every day. (I also hear he wears earmuffs just like mine, so it might not be completely accurate.)