There’s a whole lot of nothing this Thursday, but there’s also a dragon and spicy food to combat it.

Let’s begin with something truly awesome and timeless: Rubber Duckie Day on Monday 13th January. A bright yellow plastic waterbird was always part of bathtimes when I was a kid, but as the years went by it became less important to my ablutions and eventually flew south (to the city dump). Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while may remember that I celebrated the occasion back in 2012 (two whole years ago!) by making a rubber duckie pyramid. Perhaps I’ll do the same again this year and I strongly urge you to join me… but in your own bath.

Do you own a pet? If not, go out and buy one immediately! (Actually, don’t do that; it would be highly irresponsible.) If you do own one, be it cat or dog, iguana or platypus, make it looks its most dapper on Tuesday 14th January for Dress Up Your Pet Day. I own two cats myself, and though they’re very friendly and affectionate, I imagine I’ll be wearing multiple scratches if I attempt to dress them up as astronauts again.

Oh, excellent! It’s time to strut the streets wearing my best trilby, for Wednesday 15th January is Hat Day! Whatever type of head apparel you prefer, take advantage of this opportunity by wedging it firmly on your bonce and wiggling it in people’s faces all day.

I planned to do absolutely bugger all on Thursday 16th January as it’s Nothing Day, which has been around since 1973. However, it’s also International Hot and Spicy Food Day and Appreciate a Dragon Day, and to be honest, if I celebrate the delicious one with my mouth, I’ll most probably celebrate the fire-breathing one with my bum.

I live in Hull (England), so Cable Car Day is a tough one to pay tribute to because we’re one of the flattest places around since that massive meteorite squished the dinosaurs. Instead, on Friday 17th January, I plan to transport some cable via car. Having said that, I don’t drive. Where’s the A Team when you need them?

A. A. Milne was born on 18th January 1882 (a Saturday this year), and each anniversary sees the celebration of Winnie the Pooh Day. The willy, nilly, silly old bear debuted in 1926 and is still loved now by adults and children alike. Having said that, and I’m sorry to ruin your childhood, but have you seen this collection of genuine comics (from after Milne’s time) that suggest Pooh is a coldhearted sociopath?

It’s Sunday 19th January – time to relax. Pick out a favourite movie and snuggle up with your squeeze and a bowl of heated maize kernels that have expanded and puffed out due to focused heat. (It’s Popcorn Day. Try not to get it all over the sofa.)

Thanks for reading. Now go seize the day!


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