There are currently 193 member states in the United Nations. I’m not sure what the conditions of membership are (I’m sure I can find out, but I’m also sure that I can’t be bothered), but I’m thinking about setting up a microstate and seeing how things go.

The major difference between my microstate – I believe I’ll call it Flapdoodle – and the UK is that you can only have kids if you promise never to take them to a pub. Other smaller distinctions will be mandatory alcohol at lunchtime and every house is to be made of Lego bricks.

If you’d like to become a citizen of Flapdoodle, simply turn up on my doorstep with a weapon, assorted grains and spices, a unique skill and an incredibly reasonable £15,000 to cover general administration.


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