Though it sounds like some kind of sexual inclination toward metal, I’d love to have heterochromia iridum. It’s when people have different coloured eyes, which I’ve always thought is just damn cool, same as battle scars, Fu Manchus and bionic arms.

Sadly, I have one blue eye next to another blue eye; plus they’re not even dazzling blue, more like faded denim. Still, I guess I could always get coloured contact lenses… well, one coloured contact lens. Or if that’s too expensive, a splash of bleach on one of them should do the trick.

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