Battery Day prompts us to ‘take a moment to consider how many of your household items use batteries’, so I did exactly that.

LIVING ROOM

TV remote control – 2 x AA (Energizer)

DVD remote control – 2 x AA (supermarket’s own brand, which is probably why they’ve died on me)

Wall clock – only 1 x AA, despite being the loudest timekeeper in the world (Energizer)

KITCHEN

Nothing. I’ve searched everywhere and there isn’t a single device that uses batteries. There are, however, various batteries scattered about in my ‘man drawer’, which is unfortunately also the cutlery drawer (quite a small house, limited storage space).

HALLWAY (AKA 4-foot square area near back door)

Wall clock – 2 x AA (one Sony, one Phillips – flirting with disaster!)

Smoke alarm – 1 x 9-volt, the type that can potentially kill you if you put it on your tongue (Panasonic, mmm tasty)

BATHROOM

Beard trimmer – 2 x AA (Duracell, the last thing I want is that thing slowing down midway and yanking half my face out)

Nasal trimmer – 2 x AA (Duracell again, same reason as above only even more vital)

BEDROOM

Digital wall clock remote control – 1 x God knows what. It’s one of those annoying little round ones that you never have around.

SPARE ROOM

CD player remote control – 2 x AA (Duracell, dead – the pink bunny finally bit the dust)

And that’s it. I don’t own a car and everything else is mains powered. Maybe I should buy another battery-powered appliance? I’m thinking a lawnmower, despite my front garden being composed of stones and the backyard a large slab of concrete. Imagine how many double-As it would need though, it’d completely compensate for the otherwise low number in the house. Any other suggestions? Pneumatic drill? Jetpack? Cryogenic freezing pod?

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