It’s Weed Appreciation Day, and I’d like to give shout-outs to the two greatest weeds that ever existed:

The first is the common dandelion, which is as bright and cheerful as the sun when in bloom, and as magical as pixie dust when dispersing its seeds. Plus the latter form is known as a ‘granny clock’, which is simply amazing.

The second weed that I would like to honour is Romeo Montague. This evening I went to see Headlong Theatre’s production of Shakespeare’s teenage angst-athon, and though the piece and its players were absolutely flawless, it reminded me just how much Romeo gets on my nerves.

Yes, yes, I realise that many will tell me to wash my mouth out with the proverbial cleaning substance, but come on – “O! she doth teach the torches to burn bright” – gimme a break. What’s wrong with handing a lass a bunch of thistles and telling her she has hair like a bramble bush? Works for me every time, plus I’ve never ended a date with being poisoned in a tomb.


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