I absolutely love watermelon but I very rarely buy it; maybe three times a year if that. But it just so happens that I bought one the week before last, without even realising that today would be Watermelon Day.

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “but if you bought it over a week ago, surely it’s gone off by now”, and you’d be right. Very right indeed.

The half-eaten red and green ball was sat on a plate in my fridge, nicely gathering mould that resembled a spider’s web (I assure you there are no spiders in my fridge, except for the ones that have got stuck in the butter).

So what do you do with a watermelon you don’t want? You make it go kaboom of course! You run upstairs and throw it out of the window, or go into the back yard and take a cricket bat to it, or catapult it over the rooftops and listen for the splat.

Or – and this is what I did – you put it into a biodegradable bag and place it in the composting bin, ready for the City Council to collect. Rock ‘n’ roll, Sutherland style.


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