“People shouldn’t be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.”
Right, let’s get this week started. Monday 4th November is when you use your common sense and sort out your career, perhaps looking into becoming a traffic director. (Sorry, I’m a bit tired and that was my lame attempt at combining Use Your Common Sense Day, Job Action Day and Traffic Directors Day. Can you do any better?)
Gunpowder Day falls on Tuesday 5th November because, here in the UK, it’s Bonfire Night, remembering Guy Fawkes’ failed attempt at blowing up parliament in 1605. Despite a “Guy” often being mounted atop a stack of combustible materials, Fawkes and his fellow conspirators weren’t actually burnt; instead they were hanged and quartered, with their numerous limbs sent to the four corners of the kingdom and put on display as a deterrent for subsequent anti-parliamentary shenanigans. These days we just tend to celebrate with fireworks, a bonfire and copious amounts of hotdogs and sweet treats – severed heads are so 17th century. Live outside the UK? Watch ‘V for Vendetta’ and eat a toffee apple.
Feelin’ stressed? Want to punch a wall or shout at a hamster? I understand, but please, don’t do either. Instead, listen to some Kenny G on Wednesday 6th November, that way you’re combining Stress Awareness Day and Saxophone Day without scaring the family pet.
Thursday 7th November is a good one for all you girlfriends and wives out there as it’s Men Make Dinner Day. Having said that, if this is something that you can barely imagine, there may be a reason why the man in your life only cooks one day of the year. Might be best to have a Maccy D’s on standby.
Wilhelm Röntgen discovered x-rays in 1895 when treated cardboard he was using in routine experiments began to glow in certain situations, the result of radiation hitting the surface. Now THAT’S science! X-Ray Day on Friday 8th November is the day we celebrate good old Wil and his wonderful discovery, and here’s a chirpy little fact for you: having taken a photo of his wife’s hand using x-rays, she immediately exclaimed “I have seen my death!” Lovely stuff.
Having been encouraged to become aware of stress earlier in the week, Chaos Never Dies Day on Saturday 9th November then tells us that we will never, ever, EVER have a moment in our lives when we feel totally tranquil and chilled, so make the most of each day and accept pressures and tensions as essential to balancing life out. Or something.
How do you like to spend your Sundays? Is it by saying difficult sentences and celebrating area codes? If you answered negative (which I’m almost certain you will have), then Sunday 10th November is going to be a bit of a chore. Regardless, it is indeed both Tongue Twister Day and Area Code Day. As always, I’m going to try to combine the two by saying “Area codes code each area to make folk warier of an area’s code and the prestige of each abode” ten times without slipping up.
Thanks for reading. Now go seize the day!