The listing for Hammock Day says to improvise if necessary. I have no trees and I’m a heavy man; I’d easily take down the kitchen cupboards if I hung a hammock between them, so instead I stayed in bed all day.

Now, before you go calling me lazy, remember that I did this as a mark of respect for and the day specifically put aside for celebrating the proud suspended rope bed that is the hammock. It’s not like I enjoyed it, not even when I was brought mugs of tea and toast whilst reading graphic novels. Didn’t enjoy it one bit.

(Roll on this day next year.)


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