National Pizza with the Works Except Anchovies Day

You can do irrefutably impossible things with the right amount of planning and support from intelligent and hardworking people and pizza.
– Scott M. Gimple

There it is, sitting on your counter, fresh from the pizza parlor. You know you ordered it, and you’re utterly in love with the idea of cracking open that cardboard container. Is there anything in the world that’s as wonderful as fresh gooey pizza in your hand, loaded with all of your favorite top… wait… What is that sitting on top of your delicious pizza pie? It’s salty and fishy and… WHO PUTS ANCHOVIES ON A PIZZA?

History of Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day

Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day came into existence from pure common sense. There’s a lot of people out there who will, foolishly and naively, choose to order their pizza with ‘the works’, never thinking for a moment that there’s a madman out there perfectly willing and capable of putting anchovies on a poor innocent pizza. The horror.

Let’s ask one question first, though, where the heck did this crazy idea of putting anchovies on a pizza come from, to begin with? It certainly doesn’t seem like anything a sane person would do to their pizza, so where is patient zero for this insanity? Near as we can tell it came from the Ancient Romans who first offered up a fermented fish topping known as Garum for their flatbreads.

They were offered as a kind of nostalgia back in the early days of pizza, and from there on they just kinda stuck around and never quite went away. Storing them is cheap, even though only about 50 out of every 18,000 customers actually order them on their pizzas.

How to celebrate Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day

It’s pretty simple, isn’t it? Right, there in the name you might say. Order a pizza with the works without anchovies, because only heretics and Bedlam Boys order anchovies on their pizza.

The rest of us know that it’s a delicious pizza pie deserving of only the most delicious toppings the world has to offer. Like pepperoni, green bell peppers, olives, mushrooms, Canadian bacon and pineapple, bacon, or anything else that has never been near the sea.

Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day celebrates that most fantastic of pizzas, with a small reminder to tell your pizza guy to not make an abomination of it by adding fish… To your pizza… Seriously.. What’s next? Chicken?